What a croc!

[Come take a ride with the Crocodile Hunter. Babies - don't sit too close to the crocodile!]

There is only one thing stupider than the Crocodile Hunter that annoys me like nothing else.

It is has got a lot of publicity especially lately, but that doesn't mean it's good.

[Daddy! Not infront of the cameras!]

Why Katie! Why did you have to say yes to the whack job Tom Cruise.
Where in his science fiction religious ways did you think "hey, this is
a great bloke"?

Actually, I doubt whether bloke, or even fella would be in her vocabulary. She'd probably say dude. Like as in a camel's dick.

She says that she liked him in her younger days watching his movies.

[I told you Kerri-Anne - I'm not going to retire!]

I reckon Bert Newton (above) is cool as well but you won't see me in the spoon position with him.

There is something creepy about this weird bloke taking this hot chick
and changing her ideals, changing her outlook on life with this
scientology stuff. Really, I would prefer her to go out with Michael
Jackson. Then he might stop hanging out with kids.

But back to scientology: sure - it all looks fine as far as not having
bad people around you yada yada yada. But once you go into the whole
aliens brought us here stuff and weird science fiction things like that
well I'm outta there, sister.

I wonder if Our Nicole was into this stuff, or maybe she just saw
through him to whatever must be good there. (There must be something
good there. Really. No, really!)

You see, there is nothing like a waste of life - and Katie Holmes will be wasted if she marries him.

Why will be wasted I hear you ask (not understanding how I can hear you
without a microphone)? Because the last thing all the fellas in the
world want to do when they think of Katie Holmes is to have Tom bloody
Cruise in their dream as well. Unless you're into that thing - but I'm
not.

But on scientology, I don't want to get flamed here. I'm sure in it's
own way it's a nice religion - but it's not my cup of Tetley's.

For me personally I am an atheist. I can barely believe in Don Bradman
let alone in a bearded carpenter or his bearded old man who is also the
puppet master in this world of marionettes.

[Hey - I look like a tree *and* I give guys morning wood!]

But with the loss of Katie Holmes (who was an obvious choice for Mrs
Earthquake), there will also be a loss of another chick from the Big
Brother house this week.

One must go of Rachael, Christie or Geneva. I agree with Mike Goldman -
what kind of name is Geneva? What were her parents thinking? Or is this
just like last year with that boy Saxon having the made up name. Does
that mean Gretel will go out with Geneva? I'm sure Geneva wouldn't
mind. Actually - that makes my stomach feel a bit uneasy.

Out of the three I find Rachael the most intriguing. Every extra day
she's there you find out something new and refreshing about her.
Meanwhile with Christie and Geneva (above) they just seem to be two kids
wanting to pash and dash with everyone.

But who to evict? This is how it goes:

Rachael likes Tim. Christie likes Greg (who only likes her cause she's good in bed). Geneva likes Hot Dogs who prefers Vesna.

So therefore Christie (below) has to go. Christie is the dumbest of the lot who
doesn't really add much to the house. Geneva reckons she's the ugliest
girl in the house (which I whole heartedly disagree - that's Vesna),
but at least she adds some spice to the house. You could call her a
spice girl, though I choose not to.

[Huh? Who's John Travolta?]

SMS 19 10 10 with the message Christie to vote her out!

You've made your bed

[Phone home.]

It's happened. Tomorrow, Mum will be helping me pick up the couch.

Good news! Though I have heard some bad things today about the sofa bed.

Everything but the kitchen sink.

Apparently they sink in the middle. That's what HouseWife (an ex) told me.

But I swear I layed on the thing and everything was alright.

Oh well, at least they're won't be the history of bedding HouseWife and others on there.

As I said say no to women! Just don't become gay. Or a bear!

Because there is nothing worse than becoming a bear. First off, you
play for North Sydney - who haven't won the competition since 1922.
Also, well you prefer to pleasure men than women.

Sure, there's nothing wrong with pleasuring a man - as long as that man is yourself!

Some people say that there is a certain stigma with being a
shirtlifter, but I'm not one them. I lifted my shirt the other day. I
had spilt some sauce on it and was trying to wash it in the loo at work.

With New South Wales winning tonight (good on ya Blues), football
shifts towards the weekend and who is the Bulldogs' five-eighth this
weekend?

Is it the State Of Origin winning five-eighth Braith Anasta? No, it's Corey Hughes.

You might remember Corey Hughes - actually chances you don't.

But Corey is a fine hooker who needs some fitness to stick on the field for the full 80. But he isn't a five-eighth.

But when Braith looks to be going to South Sydney we'll try anyone at five-eighth. Maybe even veteran Tony Grimaldi.

But why Corey!

My Dad wants to go to the game on Sunday (providing I can get out of
work), but why should I pay to see my Doggies lose with Corey Hughes at
five-eighth?

In the egroups, we have been calling for Hazem El Masri to be the five-eighth ahead of Corey.

But oh well, with 7 more to win in the next 12, (Mark O'Meley reckons
we need 10 to make the 8, not 7 - but can he count?) maybe Folkesy will
cut the fat next week and bring back Braith at five-eighth. Or better,
switch him while on the field.

#6 Hughes = time to lose!

[Twist it your way!]

Is there something strange about this picture? Yes, it is a hot chick but she's eating KFR.

You never see a chick like that eating KFR. They look more like Kirstie Alley.

Where's the pleasantly plump man in the ads eating the burger of their choice?

BTW peoples - (you should bookmark this page just for this recipe) here
is The Heart Attack Burger as created by the Quakemeister - ie: me.

*two slices of bacon, four quarter pound beef patties, four slices of cheese, mayonaise, tomato sauce on a bun.

I have had it a couple of times and you can't eat for the rest of the day. It's a lovely feeling hehe.

Just beat it! Ow!

Another thing - there are rumours that Michael Jackons will be doing a
large worldwide tour in order to save himself from bankruptcy, now that
he has been acquitted of those charges.

Apparently, he has already selected his warm-up act - The Wiggles.