A decade in review

A friend (and countless lists) have inspired me to blog. Since I haven't blogged in a while, (being busy with doing two TAFE courses) there is a lot to blog about, or you'd think there would be? Anyways, here is my look back at the year, and decade that was.

Living out of home can suck

Due to circumstances outside my control I found myself being a transient in this great city, moving from suburb to suburb (at least once a year on average) during the majority of the decade. Living with various strange individuals, cooking spag bol with spam (it tasted awful) and having people fuck in your room (other than you) can be rather unsettling. On the other hand, when I was living by myself I had some great times. But then I lost my job. And then I moved back home.

Living at home can suck too

So yes, I lose my job, have bugger all money, move back home. Did I hear the sound of a million women's legs closing? I thought I did. There is nothing worse than living at home, no job and no car. Or quoting Young MC "Got no money and you got no car. Then you've got no woman and there you are".

Women

I wonder why I bothered to put this paragraph in, but yes, this decade did have a bit more action in that department than the decades preceeding it. But still, in the end I am no better off than I am when I started the noughties, so that makes this a dead rubber! So, why am I in this situation where I have no lady friend to speak of? One theory for me (coming from the 40 year old virgin) is that I have to stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. I treat these ladies with too much respect, too much planning, etc and that I need to just take risks.

Being selfish

Wow, these are kinda falling into each other these things. My mentor has recently told me to be more selfish (and take risks). This decade I spent the majority of it helping family in one way or another (either me being a live in maid, or someone living in my flat) and due to being unselfish, I have lost opportunities that could have benefitted me somehow. Or as one teacher said this year, "Opportunity cost".

To dream the impossible dream

So, this time 10 years ago my dream was to be on radio as a DJ. Nothing much has changed. The other day though, when trying to do a demo for radio, I was doing a demo as a "time and temp" announcer. My radio teacher told me that perhaps being a DJ wasn't for me. I spoke to a mate and she said that she had never imagined me to be a time and temp DJ. Neither had I. So, maybe my demo should be different to being Mr Jukebox. I had always imagined myself as someone who would be able to use satire and comedy to entertain. Someone like Vic Davies, Shaun Micallef or David Mitchell.

Happiness

Over the ten years I'd been looking for happiness, but first I had to define what happiness was. What makes me happy? Well, the last time I was happy this year was when I went overseas and spent a few weeks with my (ex) lady friend across the sea. Upon returning back I thought that that was a place where I could be happy. But, instead, I have been told not to come back. Here I was thinking that NZ was a nice place where you're not judged and people are even nicer than Australia, but I guess I was wrong. So, the search for happiness continues it seems.

What to do?

So, with all that happening, what do I do? I have some ideas I might develop, I've got stuff to do before I start my Business degree in March, so I will be giving it a red hot go.

Memories

['Thanks for the memories, Fall Out Boy. Or is that Thnks fr th Mmrs?]

The other day I got the shock of my life when as I was cleaning up my room I found an old home video (with no label on it other than a video camera tag on it).

No, it wasn't a video of my parents having sex or anything like that, it was a Christmas video from 10 years ago.

You might ask "what is so shocking about that"? Since the last century our family group has receeded due to divorce and death and in some cases, selfishness.

When it comes to a genuine big family Christmas: that was one of, if not, the last.

On the ABC and SBS when they show old footage they have a warning for Aboriginal viewers that people who have passed on may appear on the screen.

Since this was a home video it didn't have that warning, so there before me lay the images of ghosts.

And yes, I was scared of these ghosts that lurked in the back of my mind for days to come.

Maybe I'm more Aboriginal than I thought perhaps?

But what I wonder is what happens to the memories of these people: once they have left our life one way or another.

Why do these memories fade? Is it that we choose to forget bacause of what happens that ceases for them to be in our life? Does our brain only hold enough memories, meaning that we will lose the cherished moments of the past?

And when they do come back to the front of the mind - why do they hold our heart and mind hostage in such a way?

I know one thing - I won't be watching that video for a while now.

Maybe another ten years.

Three out of three will be great

[Hazem kicking the goal to get the NRL record]

Everyone has goals in life – I have three things I need to be successful in my eyes.

Sure, the approval of my father would come in close fourth but there are three things that if all the stars are aligned and those things happened at once would be bloody awesome.

One: be happy at home.

Have a nice place to live in. Somewhere I can bring mates over, make a noise. Who cares? I can play that Meat Loaf CD as loud as I want. I can sing Take On Me on Sing Star all night if I want to.

Two: be happy at work

A job where I go to work and I’m happy to be there. The old saying goes that if you’re happy at work – it’s not really work is it? Well I’d love to be in that situation again. There’s only one time when I was truly happy at work and where I left there on great terms. Everywhere else has been average in one way or another.

Three: be happy in my heart.

To have a girlfriend/wife/whatever and be so damn happy that all my happiness is just shining everywhere to see.

I’ve had two of the three (home/work) but never three. Right now I have none.

With nine more months of TAFE, I hope to get a job in radio early next year and then have my own place in the country and we’ll see what happens from there. A lot of planning and procrastination has gotten me to where I am right now. I guess we’ll see what happens.

I didn't go

[Girls just want to have fun]

The other day a high school reunion was held. I didn't go.

A couple of reasons why I didn't go.

Has anyone seen Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? How the girls were treated so poorly at high school, but they at least had each other to rely on at the reunion.

Unfortunately, my friends from high school have moved on to further away places and I have lost contact. I would go there alone and have to react to the barrage of questions.

"So what are you up to? What's your job? Oh my god you put on so much weight! Have you moved out of home?"

Well I'm a student - still having not satisfied my dream of working in the media. After four years of working for the man and getting sidetracked I'm trying my best again to get the job that I love, not live to work.

I work in a call centre, as usual. Not that glamorous. Not at all.

Yes, I have put on weight since high school but have recently lost a lot of weight, but am still quite a lot of work away to getting to my high school weight (and I was still overweight at high school).

I am living at home. With Mum and what's left of my family who wants to live together in attempted harmony.

It sucked seeing the photos on Facebook of all the smiles of everyone from my old high school and seeing how happy they were.

You know why? It reminded of the shit I went through in high school. The intimidation. The seperatism. The name calling. The abuse.

Of all the photos of people there - they all got on. They were all mates. They were part of the cool group. The fat guy who likes music and drama doesn't get into the cool group. He stays with the nerds. But there are only so many nerds, and none of those nerds turned up to the reunion.

Before the year 11 formal I was told by one of the "cool kids" that I would be thrown off the boat. I didn't go.

In the year 12 formal I wore blue hair in the hope of trying to somehow fit in. Trying to be a part of something I so clearly wasn't. I washed my hair halfway through the formal, knowing that I didn't fit in - I never was going to. I wasn't part of the cool people. I was a nerd. And you know what, the nerds didn't turn up to that formal either.

I even made fun of a mate of mine, I feel ashamed to this day, trying to fit in. Trying to be the bully. He wasn't there to defend himself. Heartless I was. I tried to be one of them.

So, ten years later, everyone grows up. Everyone is different. Or are they? Seeing those photos brought up the hurt and the pain of many years before. There are many other stories of the shit I went through at that school, but the cool kids were okay. They stayed up the back, smoked whatever they wanted and did as they wanted.

I'm not happy about what happened there during my time at that school, but I am proud of how I overcame all the shit, including shit at home, to complete my HSC.

That makes me a winner.

Maybe I'll go to the next reunion, maybe it'll be different. Maybe I won't be the pudgy work-in-progress that I am right now. The only reason I would want to go is to show that despite it all, I have succeeded. But unlike Romy and Michelle, I hope I don't need to say I invented post it notes.

Worth the weight?

[He caught a big one that day]

The other day I went to Bunnings and dared myself to go on the scales... to my surprise my weight was somewhat different to what it used to be and I was not happy at all.

I spoke with friends about what I can do to remedy this and I have a plan in mind to help me through this time.

Excercise and cut down on food. Sounds simple right? Well, since I cook dinner and every other bloody meal at home that is an option as I control the food in the house, but excerercise is tough right now due to the other day...



[Who's deep frying these penguins?]

The other day there was an oil spill which my sister didn't clean up so days later I slipped over and banged right onto my knee. My knee hurts so bad that I limp around and yeah, it's not good.

So that restricts my excercise for the time being (or 5-10 days as my doctor put it).

So, I 'fessed up to the girl across the sea and she says that she doesn't care, she likes me the way I am.

I am aware of first impressions, while we are yet to meet after some years of chatting, I want the first impression to be a good one.

I know she says that she doesn't mind having more of me to love, but I want to make a good first impression.

And I think we will meet next year perhaps (after almost 12 years) so - the time has come to do something.

I want the first impression to be a good one - because there will never be another first impression.

Too rude

[Too rude. Too crude. Too lewd.]

Don't you hate rude people? They yell at you and then just bugger off.

I've had a lot of this in my life - people seem to think that because I am different to others that I can be treated differently.

My tribe was treated poorly for decades by the people who invaded this land, some may say that they still are, hopefully the injustices of the tribe are coming to an end.

Why do people think that it is their right to come online, take potshots at me and then scurry off into the night like a rat running down a drain pipe?

I'm happy to give time to people I don't agree with. I told a mate that when Turnbull became opposition leader I am happy to listen to what he has to say but won't necessarily agree with it.

Unfortunately, what I've heard from Turnbull so far is more of the same from Nelson - the man who wasn't making a connection with voters.

But at least they allow people to make their opinions and respond. And they don't yell at you for nothing!

The things you do for love

[What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.]

Love - it's crazy.

The things you do for love are crazier.

I have done stupid things for love. Like taking time off the IIRL, even walking out on work experience at a local newspaper (that could have got me started in my career in the media) to e with my (then) girlfriend.

But one stupid thing I've done was singing Baby One More Time... twice - once to impress a chick (who was meant to be nice but ended up being a bitch) and the next was at my brother's 21st.

Unfortunately, the latter was recorded so it shall be seen online sometime soon (I'm currently editing through the footage).

I love my family but I also love the media (what I want to get into in life) as well as loving someone else and that splits me big time - my parents want me here, that someone else wants me somewhere else and then there's the media.. Lord knows where I will end up there.

In the past I have just defaulted towards family and helping them out, but I am coming towards 30 and surely at some stage I need to look after myself.

No matter what I do for love this time, not everyone will love it.

UPDATE 27/09: My performance of me singing Baby One More Time at Ryan's 21st can be seen at - http://www.new.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=37227929847

Being positive

It's good to be positive through the bad times.

I have been unemployed for about three months now, although it seems a lot longer. Yeah it's tough, but you've gotta keep being positive about the future and the big picture.



[It's good to be positive - but maybe not as positive as this bloke!]

So today has been a strange day. I have gone from being positive (thanks to some berry V which always hits the spot) and doing an assignment with a disorganised (and I think not commited) assignment partner to being late to class (due to having to take extra time to finish off said assignment) to a job interview which I thought was good but I didn't say the magic words (great place, great job yada yada - I was just enthusiastic and smiling) to coming home and having my computer shit itself.

Aaah yes, my wonderful computer. This year alone it has killed off 19 years of songs I wrote, 1 musical, 1 short film, 12 years of web work, 10 years of fantasy football data and a whole lot of other stuff.

You may say "Make a backup" - I did.. but it was done about a year ago. And now that doesn't want to work either! Maybe one day it shall work - or I will have enough dosh to take it down to forensics.

But yes, back to being positive. Sure it may be the generous amounts of caffiene via two bottles of V, a can of Mother and a mocha, but it is good to be positive.

I'm not normally a bubbly type of person - I've been known to be dryer than the Simpson desert, but it is good to be positive and to smile.

I'm usually laidback enough for people to think "he doesn't give a shit" but sometimes that doesn't work and you need to make more effort.

So I say - you don't need to be like Travis from Big Brother - you don't need to be a pushover that just serves people (Lord knows I've been that to many people in the past...), but it is good to be positive.

Do positive things, take positive actions.

PS: I know you might think me "criticising" things like the Olympics as above may be negative. I tend to think of myself as a "media critic". So, I do need to be critical sometimes - as well all need to be - but it is good not be critical all the time in life itself. If life is getting bad, perhaps it is time to make positive steps to make it be good. I know one person who did that and she will reap the rewards in time.

Sadness and the modern betrayal

Another year.. another new blog it seems!

It seems like I only start a new blog when something big happens... or if I have time..

So, here it goes again, life is travelling rather strangely with my best friend going away and another friend becoming a nuisance.

One best friend is leaving the big smoke and living their dream - that's great - I'm happy for them: they'll be up the highway, but it's sad that I know that I will see her a lot less.

The other friend becoming a nuisance, well he is one that likes to provoke people.

First he brings up sleeping with a crush (like that kind of bullshit is something that you bring up during dinner) and then he likes to put you down while you're feeling down.


[Top of the list on Facebook's Likeness quiz for "thing you would do for a friend" is Lay off friend's crush. Obviously this person didn't take the quiz!]

So my question is, is the act of mateship dead? When does it become okay for one friend to sleep with another friend's crush (without you knowing) and then bring it up later and it's all meant to be alright?


[Any guy near that girl will get a strapping... the girl too!]

Surely we've learned from that Troy movie, other than all Greek people having six packs, that if you sleep with a chick that someone has feelings for that's how wars get started.

Not that I'm thinking of a war or anything - but what kind of compensation do you get for that?

Sure they can say, "well she's all yours now" - but do you really want to go there after your friend has been there?

I’m not gay!

[Prominent gay footballer Ian Roberts "in action"]

Good lord, this is my first blog in ages so yeah, I will get up to what I've been up to in later blogs but this is going to be towards something else.

Let me just state first before my rant.

I like gay people - they are cool - some of them are my best mates.

But, a year or two ago I sent an sms to all and sundry as part of an April Fool's joke saying that I was coming out and I was gay.

I got a few strange replies and then a couple of hours I sent through an sms saying "ha ha april fool's" or something similar.

Anyways, I was speaking to - who I think is a close mate - and she thought I was still gay after all this time?

Well obviously this is not the case.. - I am not gay at all.

But there is nothing wrong with gay.

However, she is a close mate.. and it makes me wonder do I sound gay? Do I walk or talk gay?

I eat steak, I love women, watch footy, drink beer - but because I also enjoy musicals and plays does that drift me over to that side?


[Maybe this shirt is a bit flambouyant...]

Or am I (as per usual) thinking too much and maybe thinking of the stereotypes too much?

But then again they say the best guys are either taken or gay so maybe she thought I was a best guy?

There was an incident many years ago where I wanted to go out with her but yeah.. we shan't get into that. I think that boat has sailed unfortunately.

If you love something, set it free...

[Earthquake releases a bird...]

The old Chinese saying goes:

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

I don't actually love this chick, but I do like her. I thought she liked me.

The story goes that about a month ago this chick who I had been talking to on the net for the past year on and off (with this year of being the year of being HAPPY and taking chances and doing things I don't usually do) I asked her out because we get along pretty well.

She was feeling sick and had to go into an operation and I was short on money (being the 3rd week of my pay month) so we decided that we would go out after her operation.

She had the operation and during recovery you'd think you'd talk to people you cared about (like people who want to go out with you) but every conversation I had to iniate and I found her being less and less enthusiastic about me.

It could have been her being sick? I'm not sure.

Anyways, so the other night I said to her that I release her of having to go out with me and that she only need go out with me if she wants to.

So the next day she says that "And I was about to ask you out as well..." and then went offline very quickly. She disappeared into the night like the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland.



I'm not sure whether she was relieved that it was all over and that she had to have a great escape or what but I haven't heard from her since.

What I wanted to do was - if she really likes me she will ask me out!

Lord knows if that will happen but if it doesn't well - better to do that rather than have failed.

Cest La Vie

[I really do think too much]

Sometimes I wish I wasn't like Lisa Simpson.

Some people say that Lisa Simpson can never be truly happy because she knows too much.

That's a touch like me. For example tonight I realised that as much as I want things to happen and as much as they seem like destiny it's not going to happen.

I spoke Cass and she told me that if I tell someone that they're beautiful that they should feel flattered, even happy.


[James Blunt had a song about someone being beautiful. I don't know if they acted in a huff.]

But what happens if someone has an adverse reaction? What happens if that annoys them, makes them uncomfortable.

Cass said that means that they either have a self esteem problem or they don't like me that way.

Or to put it another way - "She's just not that into you"!

Is it the truth? Is this the way it is? I don't know.



I just wish sometimes that I wasn't Lisa Simpson. After all, Homer gets through life okay.

Life's pretty good actually

[The Beatles couldn't've said it any better...]

On Valentine's Day I felt happy for the first ever.

I've never had a Valentine but yeah, on that day I decided to give Anne-Marie a gift and yeah, she loved it. She was so surprised.

That felt good.

I hear that half her family now knows about the gift and I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not, but it can't hurt.

Life's going so well that as well as the above I just got a semi-promotion which gives me more responsibility as well as taking me off the phones for half the day.

In a few months I will go for a raise as well and hopefully hit that sweet number that I want for my salary.

And I just did my first full week of TAFE and while a lot of it is revision to me I am learning stuff and there are some nice people there also.

So, overall life is pretty good. All I need is to see Cass more often and get my little brother out of this rut he is in and things will be pretty much perfect.

It's My Way Or The Highway: I tell you what is sad... Part 2

[Adam Sandler's anger wouldn't hold a candle to one person I know]

I tell you what is sad. People who always want their own way.

And always get it.

When people are afraid to speak up and disagree or not do what people demand they do for the fear of getting:

• yelled at


• sworn at


• ridiculed


• called names


• pysically hurt

That's me. Some people may call it weak. Some people may say "why don't you just stand up to the so and so?". To them I say, I am nice, and foremost - this person has a condition that makes him act the way he acts.

It is only recently that he has been like this and throwing his tantrums the way he does.

Maybe he feels he has power over me because he uses (doesn't own) a fancy car and lives in a big fancy house.

I don't know what it is - but it is not fair to yell and swear at someone and tell them to leave your car when another person does not agree with your idea.

My example here today is that I had lost my ATM card and this person said that I *needed* a wallet. I said that I didn't. The person said I did. I said I didn't. Not once during this time did I raise my voice, swear or call the other person names - but funnily enough, the other person decided to throw a tantrum and demand that he is right - that I just agree.

I said no. He swore at me. I asked that he stop. He swore again and called me a dickhead. I asked him to stop or I would leave the car - because I didn't want to be in a situation where:

• a person with his condition was angry


• where he was angry and driving a car (lord knows if he would've crashed it or what?)


• that he was yelling, swearing and abusing me

He said "fine, get out."

In other words - "It's my way or the highway."

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

[You would cry to if it happened to you.]

I was talking to Mum and she said the smallest turnout for a birthday party was one - when my middle sister had an attendance of 1 at her 13th birthday party.

While my turnout wasn't that bad, it was a pretty dissapointing 25% of the people I had asked and only half of the people who had guaranteed to be there.

I (and Mum) spent at least $200 getting this do on and in the end a turn out of 6 people - I could've bought a bucket of chicken and that would've fed 6 people (well maybe not Dad - he's allergic to chicken)!

But oh well, other than the small attendance (although Russell Crowe was asking me about my marketing ideas to boost South Sydney's attendances) and the fact that my middle sister was riding the crimson wave, it went alright. We played cricket and I cooked a shit load of meat - which I was still cooking the next day.

I was really really dissapointed and I told Anne-Marie and I will tell you readers that I am tempted not to plan another birthday party again. While not a total waste of time, I did plan too much for such a small turnout.

Should I bother to plan another party? You tell me!

I tell you what is sad?

[Droopy was a poor sad old dog]

...it's people who bash people verbally. Calling them names, etc.

In my day (which is still today) people had a basic respect for everyone.

Some people say that respect needs to be earnt. I say that it is a courtesy.

What I can't stand is people who swear and taunt people when there are thousands of other words in the English language.

I am a kind person who treats people with respect. I like things to be fair and people to be fair back as well.

What I can't stand is self rightgeous people who think that they are king shit and that I am below them and should do all they demand and get nothing for it.

My grandmother may have been a slave, but that doesn't make me any less a person and doesn't make me a slave also.

The Aboriginals have had the vote for some time now, we are full citizens of this great country and have been accepted as Australians (despite being the first Australians).

It's time for people who have this complex, to hide behind anonynimity and yell and abuse people and then when they see them in real life, to start and think about who they are hurting.

Life is short. Life can be tough. Life is hard enough without belittling others.

Let's all get along. I know I've had enough shit in my life without having more.

What's the mo?

[Watch it! You could poke out someone's eye with that thing!]

The moustache. The humble domain of the man - or the hairy woman.

There have been many famous moustaches, some I could touch on - but would probably be best not touching on.

[Merv loves it doggy style!]

There is one however that has been synonymous with Australian sport. One that many people have sat there and gone "My God, *that* is a moustache!". That bloke is Mervyn Hughes.

Mervyn Hughes, as you should know - and should go to the naughty corner if you don't, was a great cricketer back in the 80's well known for his striking good looks - and moustache.

As the Aussies were smacking a Pommy tonight on tv I saw Mervyn sitting in the stands as a selector for the cricket team with that moustache.

At this stage it had been a while since I had shave. I don't shave more than twice a week due to having sensitive skin. So last night as I was watching this bloke, I was thinking to myself what does a bloke to do when he has nothing else to do - grow facial hair!

[Ned wasn't famous until he grew facial hair...]

That's right - I shall grow a moustache! I have never done it before so it's something new.

I've also decided to let those sideys grow a couple of inches lower so yeah there's a new Earthquake in town and he is fun-ky.

[Do the funky junkie!]

Not that I do drugs no. The only ice I have is in my Pepsi Max or Diet Coke.

Back to the moustache - I'm not sure if it will last too long though. My older sister mentioned that it looks like my "Uncle" (stepdad's brother).

I don't really like him - so maybe it won't last long. Plus it feels a bit strange and itchy. Yes, I am still talking about the moustache! God, you've got a dirty mind :P

And the word is no!

[Too many Americans obviously love their baseball too much!]

So what happens after six months of working on the business?

You've stayed up late at night for weeks drinking litres of coffee working on various plans to
get the show going. You've even spent weekends locked up in your room
like a cell (nah, cells are bigger) working your guts out. You've
submitted over 50 pages of material just to show that you're on the
ball. You've done a course, filled out numerous forms, learnt how to
master the art of using a fax, as well as researching all over the internet on how to get this thing done.

[Why does Telstra make me pay line rental again?]


But then you get the call.

"Sorry Earthquake, but due to your guarantor refusing to do a second mortgage on the loan, the loan won't be going any further."

This despite the guarantor saying that she would go full hog with the
loan even though she didn't agree with it - and that she would do a
second mortgage.

Now some people say that people deserve to change their mind or whatever.

I'm fine with that.

[Phar Lap never had a broken heart!]

But to put someone through six months of hopping through the hoops,
doing this, doing that - it's not good. It breaks your heart.

I would rather she had said NO six months AGO, not now!

[Holy shit! That's a comprehensive report!]

Well - I will give her the 30 page financial report I have put together
which shows that the business can make $300,000+ in the first year
(more than the loan) and see if she reads it and ends up changing her
mind.

In the meanwhile, I'm off to slave for the man in a faceless job where I get no respect.

Cest la vie!

No respect

[I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.]

Here's another one of those "Why I'm like" stories. First it was Tim
from Big Brother, but now it's the late great Rodney Dangerfield.

Well I'm not like him that much. Sure I can be funny in a silly kind of
way, but the one true thing I have with him (and at least a portion of
his comedy act) is no respect.

I don't want to be loved or hated really, all I want is respect.

[R to the e-s-p-e-c-t! Find out what it means to me!]

As I have explained before at Company XYZ I am treated like a schmoe.
Yes, my job is a shmoe, but that doesn't mean I should be treated like
one.

When you've been doing the same type of job for two years before you get here - you think you'd get some respect. But you don't.

Then when you add up the time you've been at this company with the
other experience in this kind of job and it's heading towards four
years - you think you'd get some respect. But you don't.

You think when you'd go for a promotion your boss would not ask "are you serious?".

Well the time is nigh, people. I am going to get me some respect.

Not with hard work and dedication - no I have tried that. I will be
going on the attack and beat these people at their own game. I shall
question the questioners.

[Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.]

It's time to rattle the cage! I don't want to leave this cage yet - I want to just make it nicer.

More information and less similes as they come :P

[Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?]


I have been trying to get an Optimus Prime (above, left) toy for a couple of weeks now.

I was coming first in an ebay auction but then I got outbid and wasn't prepared to pay an exorbitant price for him.

[The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire...]

You see, when my house burnt down when I was a kid (yes - I was a baby
goat), I lost practically everything - including my Transformers. So,
yes I do want to get some transformers - but not necessarily the
Cabbage Patch Kids that I lost *coughs*.

God bless America!

Now I reckon it is great that this US Resident has been found in Iraq after been held hostage for months.

Wait a second Earthquake? What are you smoking? He is a fair dinkum true blue 100% Aussie!

Personally, I consider a true Aussie to be someone who lives here or
works towards bettering the country through things like sport,
business, etc.

So Shane Warne is an Aussie while he continues to live here. When he
moves to England - as long as he is playing for Australia in the
cricket - he will be an Aussie.

Rupert Murdoch, he may be an American citizen, but as long as he
continues to make rugby league a more popular sport worldwide - an
Aussie.

Yes, I know that Rugby League wasn't invented in Australia, just like
movies weren't invented in the US, but both countries respectively are
now famous for them. Kinda like with Kiwis and their Kiwi fruit (really
a Chinese fruit!).

[Ney!]

And Phar Lap, he's Aussie - what has he done for New Zealand lately?
Sure he's been dead for over half a century - but his heart hangs in
Melbourne in a Museum.

But back to the whole Douglas Wood thing. All the news broadcasts here
say he's an Aussie. But the fact is he lives in the US. He has an
American wife, an American child and the closest thing he has is family
here in Australia. That doesn't make him Australian though.

My sister follows the Sydney Kings but that doesn't make me a Sydney Kings lover.

(Yes I did used to follow the Sydney Kings - but let's not get into
that. They suck like a Kings Cross whore and there's nothing that can
change that. Not even eleven NBL championships in a row. Well maybe
eleven - but I digress)

So, in conclusion - Douglas Wood, good on ya mate. You're out of Iraq, you're loving life - but are you an Aussie?

[Hello Possums!]


As far as I'm concerned, sorry mate you're not. Barry Humphries - yes.
You, no. Holly Valance - unfortunately yes. You - no. That Dokic chick
who played tennis before Australia before changing back to another
country - close, but no.

[Born in the USA I was born in the USA.]

But Yanks are alright. They can laugh at themselves even if they reckon
they rule the world. Just look at That's My Bush
(http://imdb.com/title/tt0268077/). It's a great show and I want to get
the DVD set if it is available. It's a shame it only lasted for 8
episodes.

[What's that? Do I hear cheddar cheese being made?]

Thanks for the messages of good wishes everyone. *coughs*

My ear is feeling fine now. My doctor stuck that big metal thing in
there and sprayed it with water and it's feeling fine. Actually - too
fine.

Now I have superhuman hearing in one ear. Combined with getting my #1
pair of glasses (the ones with the good viewing) fixed today and now I
am some kinda of superhuman hear-er/see-er (if there is such a word -
I'm sure there's not).

I know one thing though - I won't have a better sleep tonight cause Mum
ended up cancelling picking up my new bed. Oh well, back to drawing
board (or sleeping bed).

Fully sick!

[The Outsiders are just toooo sweet!]

Men are the strongest species on the Earth.

We build skyscrapers, think up huge recipes for food, for bombs. We tackle, punch, lift, stretch, we do it all.

There's nothing that a man can't do or take. We're strong, powerful...

[E gads! He's got a cold *and* he's turned into a dummy!]

Until we get a cold.

Then we become coughing wheezing snotty little children laying in our beds or lounges rugged up like we're heading to Antarctica.

[Nice horsey!]

Nothing hurts a man more than a cold. If Achilles hadn't been hurt in his heel, he would've been hurt by the Achilles sniffles.

So why am I talking about colds? Well, you'd never guess but myself and Rabbit both have one.

The only reason why I know he had one is because we both went to see Dr K today.

But other than seeing Dr K today I spent the day sleeping and drinking water and sleeping and playing Monopoly Tycoon (and failing miserably) and sleeping.

Will I get to work tomorrow? Most likely - my sick leave has run out.

[Welcome to Company XYZ! *coughs*]

So all those people who want their problems fixed tomorrow if you hear a sick and wheezy bloke on the phone - that should be me!

What an earie feeling!

What's going on ear?

I tell you what - it sucks to have a blocked up ear. What sucks even
more is when the doctor you've had all your life can't fix it up.

But wait for it - what do you tell people at work when they smell an odour coming from your head - ear drops?
I need the ear drops to get whatever the hell it is out of my ear.
Could it be some kind of caviar stuck up my ear? Or perhaps the play
book for the Newcastle Knights? No, I reckon it's wax.

Though my doctor did tell me that once he was at a nursing home doing the rounds and a patient had MAGGOTS in her ear!

I want to get away! I want to FLY away! Yeah yeah yeah!

I'm working this weekend for not the best company in the world - no it
is just a tribute. Like most people I would prefer to not work shift
work, but I don't have a choice really. I am a slave for the almighty
dollar which I don't see enough of.

But this is to change - I am looking at opening up a business, but the
trouble is that I need to get a loan and things aren't going that well
with the loan - as much as my guarantor could be getting cold feet. It
took me 5 months to get her to be guarantor but now that more paperwork
and stuff is required she could be saying no.

Where does that leave me if I don't get the loan? Slaving for the man.
I don't understand how more people don't want to be their own boss.
There are risks, yes. But you don't get rich being someone else's
bitch. Unless your Anna Nicole Smith.

The rich people like Gates, Murdoch, etc took a chance and started
their own company (well maybe not Murdoch after all he did inherit a
newspaper - although it was from Adelaide!). If they hadn't they'd
still be bums.

I don't want to be a bum. I have a bum, I've seen people who are bums.
They're not happy people. So, in conclusion - to get ahead take risks.

In the words of one philiosopher:

Why not take a crazy chance? Why not do a crazy dance? If you lose a moment you might lose a lot. So why not? Why not?