Memories

['Thanks for the memories, Fall Out Boy. Or is that Thnks fr th Mmrs?]

The other day I got the shock of my life when as I was cleaning up my room I found an old home video (with no label on it other than a video camera tag on it).

No, it wasn't a video of my parents having sex or anything like that, it was a Christmas video from 10 years ago.

You might ask "what is so shocking about that"? Since the last century our family group has receeded due to divorce and death and in some cases, selfishness.

When it comes to a genuine big family Christmas: that was one of, if not, the last.

On the ABC and SBS when they show old footage they have a warning for Aboriginal viewers that people who have passed on may appear on the screen.

Since this was a home video it didn't have that warning, so there before me lay the images of ghosts.

And yes, I was scared of these ghosts that lurked in the back of my mind for days to come.

Maybe I'm more Aboriginal than I thought perhaps?

But what I wonder is what happens to the memories of these people: once they have left our life one way or another.

Why do these memories fade? Is it that we choose to forget bacause of what happens that ceases for them to be in our life? Does our brain only hold enough memories, meaning that we will lose the cherished moments of the past?

And when they do come back to the front of the mind - why do they hold our heart and mind hostage in such a way?

I know one thing - I won't be watching that video for a while now.

Maybe another ten years.