Memories

['Thanks for the memories, Fall Out Boy. Or is that Thnks fr th Mmrs?]

The other day I got the shock of my life when as I was cleaning up my room I found an old home video (with no label on it other than a video camera tag on it).

No, it wasn't a video of my parents having sex or anything like that, it was a Christmas video from 10 years ago.

You might ask "what is so shocking about that"? Since the last century our family group has receeded due to divorce and death and in some cases, selfishness.

When it comes to a genuine big family Christmas: that was one of, if not, the last.

On the ABC and SBS when they show old footage they have a warning for Aboriginal viewers that people who have passed on may appear on the screen.

Since this was a home video it didn't have that warning, so there before me lay the images of ghosts.

And yes, I was scared of these ghosts that lurked in the back of my mind for days to come.

Maybe I'm more Aboriginal than I thought perhaps?

But what I wonder is what happens to the memories of these people: once they have left our life one way or another.

Why do these memories fade? Is it that we choose to forget bacause of what happens that ceases for them to be in our life? Does our brain only hold enough memories, meaning that we will lose the cherished moments of the past?

And when they do come back to the front of the mind - why do they hold our heart and mind hostage in such a way?

I know one thing - I won't be watching that video for a while now.

Maybe another ten years.

Three out of three will be great

[Hazem kicking the goal to get the NRL record]

Everyone has goals in life – I have three things I need to be successful in my eyes.

Sure, the approval of my father would come in close fourth but there are three things that if all the stars are aligned and those things happened at once would be bloody awesome.

One: be happy at home.

Have a nice place to live in. Somewhere I can bring mates over, make a noise. Who cares? I can play that Meat Loaf CD as loud as I want. I can sing Take On Me on Sing Star all night if I want to.

Two: be happy at work

A job where I go to work and I’m happy to be there. The old saying goes that if you’re happy at work – it’s not really work is it? Well I’d love to be in that situation again. There’s only one time when I was truly happy at work and where I left there on great terms. Everywhere else has been average in one way or another.

Three: be happy in my heart.

To have a girlfriend/wife/whatever and be so damn happy that all my happiness is just shining everywhere to see.

I’ve had two of the three (home/work) but never three. Right now I have none.

With nine more months of TAFE, I hope to get a job in radio early next year and then have my own place in the country and we’ll see what happens from there. A lot of planning and procrastination has gotten me to where I am right now. I guess we’ll see what happens.

Mr Rudd wants me to spend!

[it must be funny (and partially nude) in a rich man's world]

Today I received from Julia Gillard telling me that I will receive $950 rather soon.

I felt like writing back to her “thanks love. Usually I’m paying women money, but this is a first – it’s the other way around” but thought like a cork board in the hallway at TAFE, that would be rather tacky.

But yes, I will be getting almost one thousand dollars to spend as my heart desires.

Mr Rudd says “spend spend spend”! My mind says “save save save”!

Perhaps it is the doctrine of my Dad who lived through Depression version 1.0 and never bought a thing in his life on credit (not even a house) instilled inside my brain thinking that I should put it away for a rainy day, but damn it – all I see is bloody clouds outside my window and what’s the matter with splashing some cash every now and then (it worked for K-Rudd, didn’t it?).

So what will I get with my hard earned hand out from Canberra? I am thinking I will get a few things I haven’t had before.

No, not a long term girlfriend – they cost more than $950.  I would like to get a Dreamtime jersey (so when I tell people I'm Aboriginal I won't need to show them my passport for them to believe me), a Bulldogs jersey and an IPhone.

I know that our esteemed PM told us to spend the money locally and that all three of the above are probably made in China, but isn't everything made in China these days?

Chicks can do it too!

Her voice might grate on you, but you’ve got to admit – Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard is good for Australia.

Gillard is good for the country as a role model for the women out there (even if one Coalition politician wishes to call her “deliberately barren”). There are young women who aspire to rise to the top of the heap and become Prime Minister (as Gillard was Acting PM a few months back) and seeing a fellow lady at the wheel makes women think that the world has progressed somewhat.

But Australia is behind the times. The first country to allow women to vote was New Zealand. And let’s not forget that half-woman somewhat manly creature Margaret Thatcher who ruled with an iron fist.

When it comes to sexism however, Australia is on par with the world.

Recently, The Sunday Telegraph decided to print what they thought were nude photographs of Pauline Hanson. If it were nude photos of Joe Hockey – who would have cared? Sure, it might have shocked a lot more people and had many of us fleeing towards the toilet bowls to let the technicolour yawns flow like a river, but because it’s a bloke no-one would care.

There was debate in the US about how First Lady Michelle Obama decided to show her arms (wearing a sleeveless top) in her official photograph. Once again, if she was a fella, not a dame – this would be an issue. I’m no Washington lawmaker, but I’m sure that the constitution allows people to bare arms?

Un-Australian: Her name is Kidman

[Now for a game of suck and blow]

Nicole Kidman. A few years ago she was everyone's favourite "Our Nic". She was the poor unfortunate woman who had left a strange marriage filled with "alternative" religion and alleged impotence.

Recently, she came out and said that she wants to live in Nashville in the US with her Australian husband and that she wants her daughter to have an American accent. That's a proud a dinky di Australian for ya.

Now, after a string of box office flops, including the mixed reviews from Australia (which I am yet to see myself) she has stooped so low "play" the didgeridoo on German television.

My non-Australian readers (and maybe even some Australian readers) might not know that the didgeridoo is a sacred Aboriginal religious symbol.

Some tribes believe that the didgeridoo should only be played by men and if that is even touched by women, bad things can happen including death. (Not that I'm advocating death or anything - I'm just saying these are their beliefs)

At one stage in my life I felt sorry for Kidman, being in a marriage with a wack job, but now I (as many others do) can only feel that Kidman herself is becoming strange.

With those very slight shoulders and a husband who has had a chequered past, I can only hope that she will be able to weather the storm of controversy over the string of bad movies, the ignorance of indigenous Australians' beliefs (this after shooting one of the most expensive movies made in this country, partly in the outback amongst Aboriginals!), as well as the whole theory that Americans are better than Australians.

She should be proud of who she is, her heritage. Without Australia (the country, and quite likely - the movie) she would not be where she is now - being able to afford such luxuries. She should apologise to the indigenous people who she has offended. She should apologise to the Australians she has offended.

We spent over one hundred million dollars to put her name up in lights - she should be thankful.